Happy New Year! Now Let’s Lament.
Before the holidays, I asked our staff how many had mixed emotions about the upcoming celebrations. Over 80% of these Christian leaders revealed that the Christmas season is hard for them. Now that the holidays are past, even more of us may be left with a sense of emptiness or disappointment. Life isn’t the way it should be.
Most Christians have not heard much about lament. After all, aren’t all of our problems supposed to go away after we receive Jesus? (Not!) And yet, the spiritual discipline of lamenting is everywhere in the Bible! Over 40% of the Psalms are laments (Psalm 42 is my favorite). We were even given a whole book of the Bible called Lamentations!
God knows that life can be hard. Even the best celebrations are often not all we wished for… and then they’re over. Meanwhile, there are broken relationships in our lives — and in the world (have you watched the news from the Middle East lately?). We have unwelcome health issues. Economic downturns… You get the point, and you know where this fallen world has left you wanting.
“Lament…is to cry out in the conviction that this life is not the way it is supposed to be.” (Chris Tweitmann, Alabaster)
As a global Christian community, we gathered on Wednesday (January 17) to lament the loss of one of our most beloved staff members, Michael McKnight. Michael served with KidZ at Heart for over 14 years. He served, loved, encouraged, hosted, prayed, coordinated, and celebrated with us. He will be greatly missed.
Maybe this month is a time for you to lament, too. It’s biblical. It’s helpful. It’s worshipful. Lamentation allows us to express our honest desires and emotions to God in a way that places him in his rightful place of sovereignty. If you don’t like the way things are going, he’s the one to tell. If you’re depressed or angry at him, he can take it. If you’ve lost a loved one, he’s already crying with you. God knows.
Lament typically has four stages (but I don’t think God has any set rules about how to do this):
Call on God in prayer: “I long for you, O God.” (Psalm 42:1)
Voice your complaints: “Day and night I have only tears for food.” (Psalm 42:3)
Make bold requests for remedies: “Praying to the God who gives me life.” (Psalm 42:8)
Trust (or praise) him: “I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again!” (Psalm 42:11)
Emotions are a gift from God. They signal us when something is wrong (or right). They are a language of our soul to our heart. And children need to know that God made their emotions, and he is okay with them being expressed back to him — whether positive or negative. (They also need to know that you are okay with them!)
Does a child you know need help lamenting?
There shouldn’t be bullies at school.
Favorite toys shouldn’t break.
We shouldn’t get sick.
Our friends shouldn’t be mean.
Our pets and favorite relatives shouldn’t die.
Ask a child what is happening in his life that makes him sad. He may share one of the above, or he may bring up something he overheard on the news and needs help processing. Then help the child walk through the four steps of lamenting in her own words.
And lead the way by practicing lament yourself.
For more information about the spiritual practice of lament, please see KidZ at Heart’s video discussions and reproducible activity worksheet for the whole family - Facing and Feeling Hard Things: (Resource Guide) (Video Conversations Part 1 & Part 2).
KidZ at Heart’s Transforming KidZ Ministry training program helps moms, dads, grandparents, teachers, and church leaders know how to create space and place for children to connect honestly and intimately with the Holy Spirit through spiritual practices like lament. These tools are useful at home, at church, at school — all day, any day. We’d love to bring this training to your community. Contact Maureen Berger (mberger@kidzatheart.org - (877) 778-5439, ext. 639) for more information.
